Friday, January 18, 2013

I am a MESS...

    As I read back on my blog posts it seems to me that I only blog on what we are doing... I mean that was my whole point to this blog is to keep our families who do not get to see the kids up to date. However, there is so much more behind the scenes than what new exciting activity we are doing. Yes, I would say for the most part we all stay busy between school, preschool, dance class, church, teaching children's church, small group, Iron Men, Women of Grace, Junior Woman's Club, MOPS, and this list could seriously go on and on. We are like most families with multiple kids we are very busy and over tired. All too often it looks as though we have it together and everything we do is fun. NEGATIVE!  I think that is just because as parents we want it to seem we have it all together and we have everything under control... WE DO NOT. Not even close... Our lives are messy... 
         Let's start with the obvious I have THREE kids if that is not enough they are turning 6, 4, and 1 this year. They are up early and they don't always go to bed on time or sleep through the night. So more often than not we are all sleep deprived. Add in 2 of the 3 are home with me most days and we already have a recipe for a mess. Not to mention these kids have me for a mom. I am a SCATTER BRAIN. I can never remember anything, I move way too fast, say really dumb things, and I am always late. I try to slow down, I try to be more methodical, and I really try to be on time. Sometimes I get lucky and it works but most time not so much. No matter how much time I allow it always takes forever to get ready. I am lucky If I have time to fix my hair and put on makeup and some days I am lucky to get out of the door in matching clothes. There is always a disaster of some sort before leaving the house. We are usually rushed getting out of the house and often we forget something. I probably always seem frazzled when I get to my destination. Often I am just scatterbrained and need a moment for my brain to catch up to my body. My children are young and they are loud. Guess what it's apart of the package when you have kids. They are messy and loud and that is JUST FINE for our family. However, sometimes as much as I don't want to be... I am always worried someone is judging us. I am sure you have been there just insert your kids name... Ashlynn is running around like a crazy girl talking to the top of her lungs, Everett just had an outburst because someone took something away from him, or Hunter found something to get into and dumped it everywhere. I often feel judgement from those with children which is awful because we are all in this together and should offer encouragements and I HAVE BEEN THERE vs. the stink eye. I am so glad everything is perfect for those parents. I have CHILDREN and they are not made to sit still, be neat, or quiet.

           Let's say I have a day I don't have to go anywhere (is there any such day?). I use that time like any other great stay at home mom to clean my house, organize, be perfectly pintrest crafty, make all the meals and snacks in our home from scratch, play with my kids, take and shower and perfectly groom myself, be a fabulous wife, study the bible, make sure homework, prayers, bath and bed are all done so I can be in bed by 9 pm. Are you finished laughing yet? Did you read above where I said I had children grade school, preschool, and toddler age??? My house is a MESS and I am too. Good for you perfect moms that keep a perfectly tidy and organized house I don't know how you do it all. In real life my carpet needs a steam clean and usually a good vacuum several times a day. Real life doesn't allow for that though. There is almost always toys scattered from one end of my home to the other even if we have cleaned up several times that day. The counters are usually messy and my sink is almost always full on one side if not both. My refrigerator could probably use a deep clean and my cabinets could too. My floor is always needing a good sweep even if its been done at least once that day. Again life doesn't allow for such luxuries. Most days I try to make sure the beds are made to some degree if for nothing else but to use the bed as a big shelf and not lose stuff in the sheets. Clothes are almost always piled in the basket, in the dryer, and usually a load in the washer waiting to be washed. Random things are usually scattered around the house and almost always this includes our pesky little friend DUST. Our grass is usually not as short as we would like and our bushes need to be pruned. Our garage usually stays a disaster as do our vehicles. There are probably clothes in everyone's drawers and closets that need to be weeded out the same with toys. There are so many things in this house that probably need to be sold or trashed but we usually fail to find the time to get it all done. I am sure my bathrooms which are pretty clean could use a deeper scrub (couldn't everything?). Our windows could use a good scrubbing,and lets add in the curtains and blinds since I am being totally honest. 

     Right about now I probably sound like we do not clean at all. I spend most of my days picking up, wiping down, cleaning, scrubbing, chopping, cooking, changing diapers, teaching, helping with homework, practicing dance moves, singing tons of preschool songs, working on my bow business, refereeing fights, driving all around Wilson, locating lost items, PLAYING with the kids, cuddling, rocking, feeding, and most important of all being a mom. I will never pretend to have it all together because I truly do not. I usually pick and choose what we will get done today because at the corner of real and life everything on the to do list doesn't get completed. Don and the kids will always win. Teaching, playing, cuddling, keeping them alive will trump a Martha Stewart craft and a Better Homes & Gardens home. I enjoy making food mostly from scratch (when I can) to a perfect manicured yard, and I will always prefer watching Ashlynn dance to a perfectly clean home. Cuddling the children will come before any chore or bow order. Sitting down and taking a few minutes while they nap to answer emails, reach out to friends, or even clear my mind with the rare game with win over organizing and over analyzing every inch of this home.

         I am learning that Ashlynn, Everett, and Hunter are growing up way to fast for me to be worried about getting every little thing done. I want to get all that I can out of life and experiences. If that means my house is not perfectly clean enough I am going to let that be good enough for me. I would rather have a play date, a lunch, fun at the park then worry about the household chores or some silly schedule. Messy counters and a full sink means I took time to feed my family, toys everywhere mean my children are healthy enough to get up and play, hand prints on every inch of glass in this house means my kids are exploring, dirt on the floor means we go outside and play. Now I am not saying that someone with a perfect clean house, scratch made dinners, and well-behaved children are wrong NOT AT ALL.  I am all in favor for doing what works for your family.  NO judgement here, EVER!!!  You just have to choose what is most important to your family because there is just no way it can all be done in a day.  All I am saying is we have evaluated the list and have chosen what is most important to our family. 

        Life is not perfect and I am not perfect. I strive to be that perfect Proverbs 31 mom and wife. I want a perfectly clean home, I want my hair/nails/makeup done, I want to do crafty things with them, I want to have a perfectly scratch made dinner on the table every night instead of some nights, I want to read more, I want to sew and be more crafty, I want to have enough time in the day to do everything I want to but that is not reality. Real life is messy and its hard and us moms need stick together and encourage each other rather than quietly judge each other for our shortcomings. If my kids are fed, alive, and happy each day then I have done my job as a parent. There will be time for everything else because one day they will be grown up and living their own lives. This is the season in life I have been blessed with and I plan to enjoy it instead of fret over what others think of my messy life. I will try to consciously choose to take my kids to activities, join clubs, be active in the church, volunteer for my community, take my kids places, explore, camp outdoors, play, make messes, and LIVE. My life is not perfect, my marriage is not perfect, my walk with God is not perfect, my home is not perfect, my children are not perfect, and I do not have it all together. You know what? THAT IS ALRIGHT WITH ME!!! So if you happen to drop by the Small Home chances are it's a little messy but very lively.  I will make you a cup of coffee and you are welcome to sit on my couch as long as you want to.


  1. you made me a cup of coffee AND a muffin. You are super woman!

  2. You sound like you have it more together than you give yourself credit for. You were blessed with 3 children and your putting them before other things, which is what God intended. You brought back many memories for me as a mom. My kids are now 29, 24 and 21. Our house was always lively, our kids were involved in softball, baseball,riding horses and helping on the farm. All three of our kids are adults that their dad and I are very proud of. Keep up your good work,

  3. I think it is great that you putting your kids first. I admire you for being able to keep up with 3 kids. I have 2 kids and I am overwhelmed most days. Granted that my kids are 2 years old and 6 months old, I'm not at the activities stage yet. My house is a mess and I'm lucky if I can even brush my hair some days. So I agree that we all have to stick together and not be judgemental, which I'm definitely not. Believe me, I know how you feel. You are doing a great job and you are not giving yourself enough credit. You really are doing a wonderful job. :)